Punch Yourself In The Face And Order Online

We start with the kind of bar talk you only get when the doors are closed and the microphones are on: the stress of getting a new bar up and running, the slow grind of logistics, and the surprisingly heated debate that can start with something as small as which seltzer flavor to stock. From there, we grab non-alcoholic beer and ask a bigger question that keeps showing up everywhere: are people actually drinking less, or are they just socialising less?

That question turns into a theme: modern life is engineered to remove “social friction.” Dating apps skip the awkward hello, grocery delivery skips the chance run-in, and DoorDash skips the quick human exchange at the counter. We connect that shift to a culture of optimization, including the short-lived but wildly revealing “looksmaxing” trend, where self-improvement stops being health and starts looking like a performance metric.

We also dig into why third places matter, using a Teddy Roosevelt story about shutting down Sunday bars and learning, fast, what working people lose when you take away their one day to gather. Then we get practical with the bar industry reality of Ohio liquor control: state ordering, allocations, state minimum pricing, and how a margarita program can get kneecapped when well tequila simply becomes unavailable.

Along the way there are detours that somehow still fit the point: beer nostalgia, Aperol spritzes, condiment disgust, toothbrush debates, and a local parking lot rant that turns into a mini lesson on how public space design affects everyone’s mood. If you like funny conversation with real-world bar owner insight, hit subscribe, share this with a friend who loves a good rant, and leave a review so more people can find us. What “social friction” have you noticed disappearing lately?

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

I had a rough experience there.

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Anyway, Chipul is fine. Five stars.

SPEAKER_03 0:03

Anyways, coming next. This is how it is.

SPEAKER_02 0:21

Oh my goodness. Welcome

Season Kickoff And Dad Mic

SPEAKER_02 0:23

to season two, episode three. Four. Four. We're on episode four. Four. Oh my gosh. Now we got just just a fair warning for the start of this episode here. We gave uh we gave our dad a microphone in the back. So we might have to shut that thing off. I've got control of it, though. Yeah, mid-episode. There he is.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

So we can mute him at any time.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

All I gotta do is hit that button, I think. Audio sounds very clear, and I'm not sure it's a good thing back there.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

Keep those fingers off that mixer. It's got a sound pad too, did you think? Make little weird noises maybe.

SPEAKER_02 0:58

All right, let's open it up with this. Let's open up this uh episode for Ryan. Yeah.

New Bar Stress And Inventory Spats

SPEAKER_02 1:04

How are things going over at the uh at the new bar?

SPEAKER_01 1:07

I'd like to apologize, everybody, that we're our tens of followers that were late today. Sure. Uh that it's that it's well, it's Thursday now. Hopefully you'll be seeing this on Friday if I have time to edit it tonight at 3 30 in the morning. Uh but yeah, it was Memorial Day. So um, to the tens of people that missed the show, we're we're back and and uh you know when it was a busy Monday. How am I doing? How are you doing? You got how's the bar going over there? That's great. That's it. It's it's it's coming along.

SPEAKER_00 1:36

Here's Mr. Happy over here, voice guy.

SPEAKER_01 1:39

I'm trying to be positive, sure, but um people move at the speed of nothing, you know what I mean? Particularly if they're like an hourly waged sort of person, like you know, just back and forth, and we need this and we need that. And it's it's starting to wear on me a little bit. Yeah, um, yeah, but it's coming, you know? What are you gonna do? I am building lawn furniture tonight, so you'll start to see those things, and yeah, that's what's happening.

SPEAKER_02 2:03

So we've got we've got a subdued uh Ryan today. We'll see how we'll see how this episode goes. Well, I'm just teasing. You got a lot, you got a lot going on.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

Yeah. Well, you know, I get in here today and your ass starts yelling at me about fucking white claw limes. Who gives a shit? Well, why'd you order four cases? I'll order 35 if I want. You do it. It's white claw lime. People drink it. Sure.

SPEAKER_02 2:27

It's the high noon mango I was annoyed with. We don't know. Oh, so we're cool with the lime. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

Too much mango or you put it in.

SPEAKER_02 2:32

We'll sell the lime. The mango's gonna hang around until put in Labor Day.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

Put it in your well, good. You do it. Put it in your smoothie.

SPEAKER_02 2:39

Anyway, here we go. You can tell the time of this episode's gonna be quite funny. Yeah, here we go.

SPEAKER_01 2:46

What's your

NA Beer And Changing Drinking Habits

SPEAKER_01 2:47

lead story?

SPEAKER_02 2:47

We just smell that Heineken. It smells like weed. It's it's Heineken Zero.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

Yeah. I can't, I'm not in the mood. I got too much going on. We're both going. We're both, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:54

We're both real quick. Dragging a little bit. It's a long weekend. We're both going NA. Uh I'm going for Bero. You ever seen this? Bero, it's uh Tom Holland, Spider-Man. It's his beer. Uh-huh. He famously was a pretty uh, well, not famously, I think he's a pretty heavy boozer, and then he went no booze. Which so we came up with an NA beer, and then that brings into our next our next segment here. Nobody's drinking. And you and it's not about the booze, apparently.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

Well, we talk about this all the time, but I don't know. People seem to be drinking around here anyway.

SPEAKER_02 3:25

Uh yeah, I was gonna say, uh maybe it's not such a thing in the Midwest.

SPEAKER_01 3:28

I guess I don't see any lack of drinking a lot. I see more drinking.

SPEAKER_02 3:32

See more drinking.

SPEAKER_01 3:33

No, no, not more drinking.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

Um what? I see I think there's more drinking. Every time I'm down to panel, yeah, but I think it's jamming.

SPEAKER_01 3:44

It's the gen, it's we've got a uh it's yeah, it's I think it's is though more like Gen Xers, like older, maybe millennials, but like below that, the kids are just vaping and I don't know what they're doing, bro.

SPEAKER_02 3:56

Well, here's the thing. Here's what here's the here's the note that I wrote in today for today's episode. I

Designing Life With Less Friction

SPEAKER_02 4:01

I I think I think they call everybody bro.

SPEAKER_01 4:03

I know.

SPEAKER_02 4:04

They do call everybody bro. If you notice, if you notice, well the the this whole this whole situation is not just centered around people drinking less. I think it's I think it's less social interaction in general.

SPEAKER_01 4:15

We're too busy at home maxing.

SPEAKER_02 4:17

Oh boy. We're gonna you're gonna go, yeah. Are you sure? Looks maxing.

SPEAKER_01 4:19

I am well it does everything. There's looks maxing, there's don't drink maxing, there's vape maxing. I don't know. There's all kinds of maxing going on.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

Everything's out to the extreme. Like, look, you ready for this? So look at today's today's day and age, man.

SPEAKER_01 4:31

Everything has to put a new hat on.

SPEAKER_02 4:32

Everything's designed for less social interaction. Right. Right? Right. Dating apps, boom, guess what? You podcasts. Yeah, podcasts. Podcasts. But look at dating apps, right? You can hook up with somebody without the first like weird social interaction. Okay. Uh ordering groceries online. Guess what? You don't have to walk through the grocery store to to bump into people that you may know or may not know. You just order online, they deliver them right to your door. Yeah. DoorDash. You don't have to go into uh Chipotle, your favorite place, and talk to somebody to order food. You just put a little note online, boom, done. Ted was waiting for me to say something about that. Yeah, he was.

SPEAKER_01 5:11

He was just waiting for it. I went in. I had a rough experience there the other day. Anyway, Chipotle's fine. Five stars.

SPEAKER_02 5:16

Anyway, so I'm not. So I'm here's the thing. I'm around here, maybe we're not seeing the effects of people drinking less so much, but in general, society right now is designed for a minimum amount of social friction, let's call it.

SPEAKER_01 5:31

Which is, I would argue, why we are on the verge of collapse.

SPEAKER_02 5:34

Is that are we?

SPEAKER_01 5:35

Start drinking more, and we'll all be fine. Are we speaking of drinking going away? What

Schlitz Ends And Beer Nostalgia

SPEAKER_01 5:42

schlitz done after 177 years?

SPEAKER_02 5:45

Oh man.

SPEAKER_01 5:46

Paps is pulling the pulling the plug on Schlitz, which is a sad there was always that good Schlitz. I mean Schlitz's two Schlitzes, whatever's free.

SPEAKER_02 5:54

Whatever's free. There was a good super trooper's reference for anybody.

SPEAKER_00 5:58

When you're out of Schlitz, you're out of beer.

SPEAKER_02 6:00

And there was that great painted on billboard on the brick on the brick uh building down in Mansfield that that's gonna be even more of a relic now.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

It's uh it's there's it's hard to see now, but if you drive into Mansfield, about a I'd say about a quarter mile, half mile past the train crossing where the one-tonner is. Is it a one-tonner? 44-tonner. 44-tonner. We're talking about a train. Um I guess not too many trains, but one ton. Um anyway, um a train aficionado that goes nuts about trains called a foamer. Foam away. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:28

Foamer.

SPEAKER_01 6:29

Anyway, that sign is in a building when you go to Mansfield. It's so cool. If you can see it, it's uh it's a neat old uh painted on advertising. Back when they used to paint on things. They used to paint on things. They used to paint on bottles too.

SPEAKER_02 6:38

And rolling rock was a painted bottle.

SPEAKER_01 6:40

Rolling rock. I think the only ones that are still painted today, Corona. Red stripes still painted?

SPEAKER_02 6:44

No, they went, I'm pretty sure they went to a sticker.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

Just Corona, and I believe some of the other Mexican beers are still painting them in Mexico. Good form. Good nice, keep

Looksmaxing And Extreme Self Optimization

SPEAKER_01 6:52

painting it. Hey, really quick, back to the looks maxing thing.

SPEAKER_02 6:55

Yeah, have you seen it?

SPEAKER_01 6:56

Dude, it's very stupid.

SPEAKER_02 6:58

It's so dumb. Uh, can we talk about this, T Dub? You probably haven't heard about this. I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm sure. I'm sure uh the one that's popular right now that's gaining social media attention, and it's actually it's starting to fade out. So we're like, you know, things last for a week and then they go. But it was called looks maxing. So it's doing, and it's ridiculous. It's doing everything in your in your nature, in your to that's possible to make yourself look the best version of yourself. So like there's dudes, you see this? There's dudes that are chewing gum relentlessly so that they can make their did you see the uh make their make their jawbone stronger.

SPEAKER_01 7:35

Did you see the light bone breaking that they're doing? What? What yeah, they're they're punching themselves in the face repeatedly, which I think they should do it harder. Yeah. But they're doing it's called bone shaping. No. It's so so if you hit yourself enough, like put a fucking indentation on your cheek. Shut up. I hey, listen, we are at the dumbest timeline right now. They're punching themselves in the face. I mean, I like I said, they're punching themselves in the face. Try it with a hammer.

SPEAKER_02 8:01

Looks Matt, we're not just we're not uh advocating that you hurt yourself, but I mean maybe a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 8:07

Disclaimer.

SPEAKER_02 8:08

They're punching themselves in the face. So anyway, so they're called it's called bone smashing or bone shaping or something.

SPEAKER_01 8:13

Bone shaping.

SPEAKER_02 8:14

I can't follow it. I can't follow up with anything more ridiculous than that, but that's that's what's going on. Looks maxing. Yeah, it's all about optimizing. Do you remember optimization? Do you remember when I said you remember when I said the the the very younger generation has this weird transactional nature to them? That's what this is all about.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

The transactional thing.

SPEAKER_02 8:33

The transactional thing. Nobody does anything for fun anymore. It's to it's to everything is uh a best version of yourself. I'm all for being healthy and like and getting better at things, but just relax a little bit. Have a beer, turn up the stones, pull up your pants.

SPEAKER_00 8:47

There it is. Yeah, that's good.

SPEAKER_02 8:49

There it is. Yeah, there it is. There it is. All right. So Schlitz is done. Schlitz is done, which is sad. So you ready for this? Uh I had um who brought it up? Was it Jen maybe? And we had a bottle a couple months ago. Uh, we've had it, you've had it at the Volstead for a long time, but Aperol is making a uh a return.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

Oh, well, that's because it's a low AVV, you know. Sure. Doesn't have a lot of they're doing Aperol spritzes. Aperol spritzes, yeah. There's all kinds of Aperol drinks.

SPEAKER_02 9:12

You know what's funny though is uh when I was talking to Jen about it, she said that a lot of younger folks are traveling um to Italy, hence why it's getting popular again. What's that trend? I don't know. I try just Italian travel for Americans, I guess, is a thing right now. And it it's it's funny because I saw a group of um kids, uh younger people who just went, who just got back from there. Oh around here. So there you go. I guess that's why Aperol, but anyway, maybe we should snag a few bottles and start uh it's good. Aperol spritzing.

SPEAKER_00 9:42

Can you just come back and have a couple and punch everybody in the face?

SPEAKER_02 9:45

Well, you gotta punch yourself in the face. That's what I mean.

SPEAKER_01 9:48

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you gotta punch yourself in the face.

SPEAKER_02 9:50

I you know, I could use that a little bit, I guess. Punch yourself in the face.

SPEAKER_01 9:53

It's fun to let you kind of run the show here and see if see where we're gonna go.

SPEAKER_02 9:56

You know, I noticed it doesn't run as well.

SPEAKER_01 9:58

I don't know about that. I think it's I think it's running pretty great. I'm kind of enjoying taking a back seat. Are you just kind of commenting?

SPEAKER_00 10:03

Oh, that's usually such a happy glow over Ryan the Sword.

SPEAKER_02 10:07

Well, you know, I tell you what. Uh-oh. Here he goes. But we remember we like even Rob said, we like the feisty Ryan, so I feel like you should be as feisty as possible. I I don't have the energy to be right now. He does hire him.

SPEAKER_01 10:18

Yeah. What do you want from me, people?

SPEAKER_02 10:20

Yeah. Wait, hey, you you put something on here that I need to know about. What's

Third Places Teddy Roosevelt Sundays

SPEAKER_02 10:23

this? What's this Sunday Roosevelt?

SPEAKER_01 10:25

Oh, I know what it was. I was watching uh a documentary about FDR and like kind of um no, not RDR, I'm sorry. I was just saying. About uh about Teddy Roosevelt. Teddy Roosevelt. Um and um he uh you know it's about his rise to being president and stuff, but like when he was I believe he was the police commissioner uh of New York and he basically shut down all the bars on Sundays and he realized the blowback and like how like how you know people need that Sunday to go because they worked set back then they were six days a week and horrible, you know. So Sunday at the bar was their day to at least have some sense of being a human. Yeah. And so he actually realized that and and went back on that. And I think that ties to the third place thing that we have today still. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like everybody needs their third place, yeah. So you take away folks' third places and they get very upset. They get very upset.

SPEAKER_02 11:16

There's clearly there's no place like home.

SPEAKER_01 11:18

So that's that's what it was.

SPEAKER_02 11:19

I was just watching that documentary and and dropped that into a note. There's you know, there's no place like home, but everybody needs a spot outside a home to feel comfortable and relax with your buds. Right, right, right. Yeah. Um I have uh so yeah, this is kind of crazy.

Ohio Liquor Control Tequila Shortage

SPEAKER_02 11:35

So, and I found this out from you, but um mid-weekend we ran out of our tequila that we make, that we use to make margaritas, okay? Just set that up real quick. We ran out of it, which is good. We had a busy memorial Memorial Day weekend was incredible. The weather not so much, but it was still really fun and really busy. But we ran out of our well tequila, which is uh Corazone, which is actually pretty good. Well tequila. Yeah. Um, but it turns out we at the moment can't get any more.

SPEAKER_01 12:01

Right. Because why? Because the lovely state of Ohio decided not to buy any. So as we live in the uh, you know, the way the liquor uh department works in Ohio, it is basically bought from the liquor distribute directly from the liquor distributors or the warehouse or whatever their wholesalers are, put into a warehouse and then allocated to the liquor stores in Ohio, and then the liquor stores can sell them to the uh bars or sell them to consumers. But which means is the state is controlling what we can get and what we can't get. So do they recognize the volumes of the bars and things like that? No, they don't, no. So that's why we now have a gap of what we can get, and that's why things run out in Ohio when you can go to Michigan and other states and get everything very easily, because it's just the antiquated, stupid laws.

SPEAKER_02 12:46

So what's funny is, and and this is actually something interesting to talk about uh with people outside of the bar industry, because you may not know that's how it works in the state of Ohio. Not all states are like that. Um on one hand, the only I mean, I guess the only positive that I can see is that everything's at state minimum in Ohio. So when you go to buy a bottle of, let's say, one of my favorite bourbons, Weller, just the green bottle, it they have to charge state minimum price for that bottle.

SPEAKER_01 13:12

But I would argue that this is where capitalism would come. Well, yeah, that's not a free market, technically. It's not a free market. It's uh you know right, it's kind of funny because a lot of people who say they don't like this sort of thing, they they we have it. Um our uh yeah, current legislature. Uh and but I would argue that capitalism would do a lot better here that way. If one store is charging so much for the the their tequila and the other store is charging less, where are they gonna go?

SPEAKER_02 13:40

That's how it works. Well, it's the reason why around here there's a lot of lines at liquor stores for when they come with special bottles of bourbon, because here it's very it's allocated, like Ryan said. The state dictates what we get and what we can't. Yeah. First, if you go to Michigan, you can go buy a bottle of pretty much whatever you want because it'll be available. It'll just be more a little more expensive, probably.

SPEAKER_01 13:58

Yep. Sounds like they're doing the same thing with weed here, too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:01

So it's kind of odd, like uh a bottle of uh some uh what a couple months ago, six, maybe eight months ago, a really nice bottle of um they called it clean tequila canoe called Lalo or Lalo. And it was well received, and a couple people around here were wanted it every time they came in, and then guess what? After two months, the state decided to stop ordering it. So boom, you got people enjoying it and liking it. That's frustrating. And then they canceled it. So it's it's yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:28

Like for example, remember Buffalo Trace is kind of tough to get again. Is it now that could be? I mean, that to be fair, it can be on the uh factories end too, but I know with the core with the core zone, it's not.

SPEAKER_02 14:38

Yeah. Anyway, so that's that's that's a little interesting. So you gotta always look out for what uh what's available and what's not here.

SPEAKER_01 14:46

This isn't a very surprising thing. Nobody's laughing at this show. This is pretty quiet here. Well, you're yeah, this is we gotta smile over here. We got nothing over there. Do a walk-in impression.

Bird Poop Strawberries And Political Weirdness

SPEAKER_00 14:56

Well, let me tell you let me tell you what happened to me this morning. Let's get tea down here. Your mother your mother yeah, I got shit on this morning from a bird. We were having a beautiful breakfast out on our deck, all of a sudden, flop on me, on your mother. It was just foul flop, kind of like this episode.

SPEAKER_01 15:13

Very good.

SPEAKER_00 15:13

Yeah, it was foul.

SPEAKER_01 15:14

Did you pull out one of your bird apps to identify what kind of bird shit on you?

SPEAKER_00 15:18

It was called the shit bird. The shit bird. That's nice. But I mean it was on my shoulder, it was original on the on Leslie's foot.

SPEAKER_02 15:26

So it splattered.

SPEAKER_00 15:27

Oh, it's it was full on bird diarrhea.

SPEAKER_02 15:30

Yeah, that bird got in some bad glue some chocolate.

SPEAKER_01 15:33

Probably got in some of those Driscoll strawberries.

SPEAKER_02 15:36

What you haven't heard about them? No.

SPEAKER_00 15:38

Driscoll strawberries.

SPEAKER_02 15:40

Apparently, Driscoll, the main maker or maker, grower of strawberries in this country, um, has been filling those strawberries.

SPEAKER_01 15:48

371 different chemicals on said strawberry fields, and the uh rate of childhood cancer of communities near these fields is like up like 37%.

SPEAKER_02 16:00

Oh I love reading all this stuff with a person that has young children.

SPEAKER_01 16:04

Shouldn't uh shouldn't RFK Jr. be out there fucking nipping us in the bud? Yeah, he's got brain bulbs, he's too busy eating a skunk in a skunk's asshole in Central Park.

SPEAKER_02 16:14

No, did you did you did you see that did you see the uh the video of him playing with the snakes and they kept biting him? Yeah, and his wife's back there going, Stop playing with the snakes. Like we couldn't feel it with his leather ass.

SPEAKER_00 16:27

Oh, about the raccoon penis. Remember that thing?

SPEAKER_01 16:31

He's got brain worms, doesn't he? He's got brain worms and methworms. We all got some brain worms, probably. What he said recently. I used to do blow off of toilet seats.

SPEAKER_02 16:40

He didn't say that. He did. That's your decision. I mean, dude, one of my favorites you remember, okay. I'm gonna bring this back up since we're talking about funny things in the administration right now.

SPEAKER_01 16:49

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_02 16:49

Uh no, listen.

SPEAKER_01 16:50

I love You're talking about the six flags at the White House? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:54

Oh, you the UFC fight? Jesus Christ. It looks like they're gonna set up a portal there, and we're who knows what's gonna happen. But anyway, do you remember what it was like the final scene in in uh uh the zombie land double tap? Oh my god. One of my favorite administrations as far as comedy goes was George Bush Jr. Oh do you remember? Do you remember when he said uh he said a couple different things like that one time? And he was like talking about something very serious about Iraq war, and then he and then he goes, now watch this drive. Yeah. And then what about the one with fish? He said, he said he could I saw he was that was in front of Air Force One. He goes, I just want to live in a world where humans and fish can coexist peacefully. That's we do a lot of coexisting with fish, aren't we? He was the best, man.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

That guy had one-liners left in the room.

SPEAKER_02 17:42

I heard he was a really fun dude to hang out and have a couple drinks with. I bet he was. Yeah. George Bush.

SPEAKER_01 17:48

Well, when he was still boozing, he had to stop that, I think, to become president. Yeah, he stopped all the shenanigans. All the alcohol and cocaine. Cocaine.

SPEAKER_02 17:57

Cocaine. Um God's hilarious. But that's yeah, G Dub. He was pretty funny.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

I got something for you.

Ketchup Packets Condiments And Teeth

SPEAKER_02 18:04

Let me hear it.

SPEAKER_01 18:04

See if anybody's ever witnessed this sort of um classic gluttony. Uh was down in the Mohican area the other day uh with McKenzie. We went down there for a birthday and stayed in one of those tree houses. Highly recommend. It's called the Mohicans, very cool. Uh, but anyway, so we were having lunch the next day uh on the way back, and I watched a guy eating his French fries. He would take an entire handful of French fries and just stuff them in his mouth with you know, drool and things coming alongside. But in the other hand, he had a ketchup packet, and he would follow his fry stuffing, putting the ketchup packet in his mouth and then sucking the ketchup out.

SPEAKER_00 18:42

No.

SPEAKER_01 18:43

And I watched him do this with probably 10 ketchup packets through his entire fries. He had 10 ketchup packets? He was just sucking stuff a fry in, suck out a ketchup packet. Stuff a fry in, suck out a ketchup. It was, and he was licking his lips and wiping his, it wasn't it.

SPEAKER_02 18:59

Now, in theory, ketchup after fry is not a bad idea. Okay, so you're you might be for the old packet lick. I'm kidding. I've never I've never I've never seen that. I will say I was I hate ketchup packets. Hate them.

SPEAKER_01 19:13

Well, think about where that ketchup packet has been. Correct, right? Before you put it in your mouth, it's probably been in dust and dirt and probably meant to go to your mouth. You know, so some river in Bangladesh.

SPEAKER_02 19:26

Did you say Bangladesh? Yeah, not that. That's where they make tomatoes.

SPEAKER_00 19:29

Yeah.

unknown 19:29

What?

SPEAKER_00 19:30

Plus, you can never open those things.

SPEAKER_02 19:32

They're horrible.

unknown 19:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:33

Well, chances are your hands are greasy from the burger and fries that you're eating. Ketchup isn't is a silly condiment anyway.

SPEAKER_00 19:38

It is, I agree.

SPEAKER_02 19:39

I came around. I came around. I used to be as a young kid, I was ketchup only, and now I've come around. Mustard is the superior condiment.

SPEAKER_01 19:45

I will I will I get in a lot of arguments about that. Most people would would uh would think that ketchup is the number one condiment.

SPEAKER_02 19:51

Yeah. Okay, you know what's funny? I didn't put this in the notes now. You you just brought up uh what do you want to say? The the the the process of of eating french fries, putting ketchup on the side. Uh I saw a pretty funny little bit. You know who Bryce Harper is? Do you know who that is, Dad? No. Bryce Harper, he is baseball player? Uh baseball player. Baseball player. A really good baseball player. Plays for the Phillies. No, yeah, Phillies, right? Yeah. Nationals. I always forget. Anyway, one of the two. He um uh did a TikTok or a video of himself brushing his teeth a couple days ago. And I've actually never seen this, okay? How do you run me through the process of what it's like when you brush your teeth? Just real quick, just make it simple.

SPEAKER_01 20:36

Uh-oh, I've recently changed my game.

SPEAKER_02 20:38

Based on based on here we go. This is a whole new segment.

SPEAKER_01 20:42

Based on feedback from my uh hygentist. Is it hygienist? Yeah, dental hygienist. Hygienist? Is there a tea? Hygentist? Actually, we've got to talk to the folks that have stuff on the won't let us hygienist. Anyway, um, I uh use my electro toothbrush. Okay. I prefer to brush my teeth in the shower if I can. Same. I really enjoy that because I can spend some time in there.

SPEAKER_02 20:59

Same.

SPEAKER_01 21:00

And you let the toothbrush work kind of like you would let a chainsaw work. You let the, you let the you let the the spinning thing do its work. Not cut, but like you don't like push really hard. You start on the outside. Like every tooth should be going around the tooth front to back, all the way throughout. So it takes me a good, I don't know, five minutes now to brush my teeth. Oh wow. But I'll tell you what, it's just my gums have been just cherry gums.

SPEAKER_02 21:25

Now, what I've zoned in now, hey, and uh I also got a water pick now, too. To the ladies out at Stefano Dental, yeah. You'll be you'll be interested in this bit, right? Because it's all about teeth. Anyway, Bryce Harper, apparently, I've never seen this before. We all, for the most part, I don't think I've ever seen anybody do it opposite. You get your toothbrush out, you put the toothpaste on the tooth, the top of the toothpaste. Put it in his mouth first.

SPEAKER_00 21:46

Oh, yeah. That's what I do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:47

He puts it in his mouth first. What? Just squeezes the toothpaste right in his mouth, like you would a ketchup packet. So that's what I'm saying. The ketchup packet. Maybe that's how a guy brushes.

SPEAKER_01 21:56

He basically just says, Oh, I didn't see too many teeth and that fills up.

SPEAKER_02 22:01

I've never seen that before. So naturally people are freaking out about Bryce Harper brushing his teeth that way online because nobody's ever seen that before.

SPEAKER_01 22:08

Speaking of that, interesting. That's another thing from the from the dental guy who told me that toothpaste is pretty much unnecessary.

SPEAKER_02 22:16

Excuse me?

SPEAKER_01 22:16

Yeah. He argues that toothpaste. Um You go ahead and try that and see what happens. Yeah, I'm gonna use toothpaste. But more than anything, most toothpaste, most of toothpaste is just a foaming agent. That's all it is. And that like you could literally dip your toothbrush in your mouthwash and still clean your teeth just as effectively.

SPEAKER_02 22:33

Uh you know what's funny about that? There is a I don't know. I forgot to find out. I forget which culture. I forget which culture it is, but there's uh a culture out there, or maybe maybe more than one, that that they don't brush their teeth, they chew on like a it almost looks like sugarcane. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:48

And that's how they do theirs, and they have like phenomenal looking teeth. So maybe you're on the something.

SPEAKER_01 22:54

You're definitely not talking about the UK. No. No.

SPEAKER_02 22:56

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

What's the old joke about what the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia? Oh. Because if it was invented up here, it'd be called a teeth brush.

SPEAKER_01 23:06

Oh boy. Well done.

SPEAKER_00 23:07

Sorry to the sorry Nancy Beach if you're watching. Oh no, is she from there? Well, she went to school in West Virginia. Love you.

SPEAKER_01 23:14

All right. Well, on from the toothbrush the toothbrush stuff. Uh speaking of number one items versus uh the continents.

SPEAKER_02 23:20

Uh getting blown out by the sun here. Do you see it creeping on it? That's not bad yet. It's creeping on you.

SPEAKER_01 23:24

All right, we're about done anyway. Um, food and wine, uh blind rank, the top uh 20 cheaper North American lagers. Yeah. Brooklyn Lager took number one. It's a good beer. Sam Adams, number two. Love some Sammy. Uh Narragansett got the best dive bar beer.

unknown 23:41

Huh.

SPEAKER_01 23:42

So Narragansett, which of course is a beer. We carry it here at Paddle Bar, which is of course the beer from Jaws. Jaws, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:48

A great beer, the one he crushes in the we carry their shandy on tap a lot in the summertime, almost all the time, and it's uh it's a great, a great shandy.

SPEAKER_01 23:55

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's as much as we can get it. They have good beer.

SPEAKER_02 23:58

They have good beer. Uh what do you got here? Something about your name being. I wanted to go. Okay, we will let's get to that real quick.

Snacks Names And Bartender Manners

SPEAKER_02 24:05

But I want to know what you put a thing about a tortilla chip in here. This is you guys Oh, yeah, yeah. Sometimes we are more prepared and we like we're not prepared today. And uh I want to know about this tortilla chips, and because Ren, my daughter, loves the lime-flavored tortilla chips, she can crush those on their own.

SPEAKER_01 24:23

Okay, and she's a picky eater.

SPEAKER_02 24:24

And she's a picky eater. We're talking nuggets and mac and cheese staples.

SPEAKER_01 24:28

Where's that sun coming from?

SPEAKER_02 24:29

I'm not sure, but look at this.

SPEAKER_01 24:31

Yeah, you gotta just keep creeping over.

SPEAKER_00 24:33

Just get closer to Ryan and it won't be as bad.

SPEAKER_01 24:35

All right, so uh I might my question, I was eating tortilla chips the other day, and I was wondering um if you have to have salsa, guac, whatever, or are you can you just eat tortilla chips on the fly?

SPEAKER_02 24:47

I pretty much uh I I don't know if I'm I'm probably in the norm. I have to dip it into something.

SPEAKER_01 24:52

Okay, yeah, I can eat it salsa no matter what. You just will crush it. I mean, I prefer guac probably, but I would rather do um or I mean I'm I prefer guac. Yeah, I can do it. If if I'm out and I need salt, crushing them. We'll do it without it.

SPEAKER_02 25:06

You're also a big salty crush.

SPEAKER_01 25:07

Yeah, I also just throw blocks of cheese on tortilla chips.

SPEAKER_02 25:09

Yeah, yeah. Okay, hey Rafe. Okay, listen. Uh now just stuff's popping up. You know what? Maybe I shouldn't say it because they'll be gone. We should you have you shop at Aldi a little bit? Yeah, I was just there yesterday. I love Aldi. Whatever. But I go in, they have little bags of Parmesan cheese bites now.

unknown 25:27

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 25:27

They're these little plastic Parmesan, just a it's just a small chunk of Parmesan cheese. Cheese. It's a small chunk of Parmesan cheese. It's like seven grams of protein. There's only like two or three ingredients, so you know that it's not bad for you.

SPEAKER_01 25:41

Sure, it's not like Driscoll's cherry strawberries.

SPEAKER_02 25:43

It's not like Driscoll's strawberries.

SPEAKER_01 25:45

Their PR team's gotta be freaking out right now. Oh, yeah. Driscoll. It's all over the TikTok. Yeah. Not very good. It's turning. We're gonna have to take away that microphone. Yeah, for sure. Turn it down. So uh anyway, anyway, but yeah, just so that's check those out. Check those out. But I'm not this is now a food show. It's a food show. Uh we love food.

SPEAKER_02 26:04

Um, anyway, so I did write a note about the name Chad and the evolution of the name Chad.

SPEAKER_01 26:08

Obviously, it's pretty pretty close to my heart here. You had a rough run with the Chad for a while. It's probably following the same line as like a Karen.

SPEAKER_02 26:16

I think it yeah. I think it's coming. Unfortunately, I think Adam was in the same world.

SPEAKER_01 26:20

Adam should have. Adam and Chad should have. Adam was? I think Adam was kind of in that world. Well, Chad got the the the worst of it.

SPEAKER_02 26:26

It got the brunt of it. For a while, the name Chad was synonymous with I mean, it was douchebag. It's fine.

SPEAKER_01 26:30

I think it was synonymous with voter fraud.

SPEAKER_02 26:32

It was pretty the hanging chad. So I I was I was getting it from all angles. Yeah, you were. And then and then there was like a five, six-year stint where it sort of became there was a little side, a little side culture that started calling things that were cool chat. And I go, Oh boy. Oh yeah. I was like, hey, things are turning around for my name, and now unfortunately I think it's back. One because yesterday I watched a uh a bit. This guy was basically doing a rant about cyclists on the side of the road. Oh. And I believe he was in California, but he was annoyed, and it was a pretty funny bit. And he said, and during the middle of it, he goes, he goes, he goes, God damn it, Chad. Why are you wearing that tight suit with all those logos on it? Like you're advertising a goddamn NASCAR race. He goes, Nobody cares. You're a 43-year-old dumb. You're not the you're not the future of the sport. So anyway, it it was a it was a hilarious rant, but what I caught from it is that he used Chad to uh to defame said cyclist. And now now I think unfortunately Chad's going back down to the bottom of the barrel.

SPEAKER_01 27:37

Yeah, yeah. I got a bartending rant. What's your the folks who just kind of announce your bartending? Someone comes out and says, Hey, how you doing, sir? I need a Budweiser. Yeah, good. Be nice. Don't I need. Yeah, you need it. May I have one? Oh have some fucking respect. Oh, may I have? Oh, yeah. May I have a drink. Yeah. I need. I mean, yeah, we all need it.

SPEAKER_00 28:04

Is that just be nicer? We just like I want. I want a beer.

SPEAKER_01 28:10

People are, you know.

SPEAKER_00 28:12

People need to be kinder and gentle. Have some respect. Yeah. Listen to you guys. Yeah. Mr. Kind and Gentle.

SPEAKER_01 28:19

Why is it shit on Ryan all the time?

SPEAKER_00 28:21

That's not.

SPEAKER_02 28:22

That's that's him. I didn't say a thing. Well, Mr.

SPEAKER_01 28:25

Kind and Gentle over here. What did I do? I didn't kick any puppies today. When? When when R what? What? What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_00 28:31

What? About an half hour ago? You were in a mood. Well, you kept bothering me. I was trying to get something.

SPEAKER_02 28:37

I did come in a bit hot. I'll give you that. He came in hot. He was already in a no, I'm not in any fun. I wasn't I was doing fine. Can I can I bring up before we end this thing? Yeah. Can I bring one more thing?

Parking Lot Rage And Local Gripes

SPEAKER_02 28:48

Since since we're just ranting about things, and can I how do you guys feel? And this is a local regional situation. How do you guys feel about the Kroger parking lot here in town?

SPEAKER_00 28:59

Oh, that's true.

SPEAKER_02 29:00

I know this is old.

SPEAKER_00 29:01

Oh I won't go.

SPEAKER_01 29:02

I same.

SPEAKER_00 29:03

Not going there. Hate it. Hate it.

SPEAKER_02 29:05

I and viewers, listeners, the the the you know, the seven or eight of you. If i I want to know about this in the comments when Ryan puts this up on Facebook or YouTube or whatever. Because I dude, I I will go to Aldi, Meyer, all the other grocery serving establishments before I will go to Kroger because of that stupid parking lot.

SPEAKER_00 29:29

Agreed.

SPEAKER_02 29:29

That's a rough lot. It's horrible. There's islands everywhere. It doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_01 29:32

Somebody got paid to design that. Someone did.

unknown 29:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:35

What do you think? I always park. Now the thing I do, I always go uh by the drugstore side if you go. That's right. You gotta stay on the edges. You you stay near Columbus.

SPEAKER_00 29:42

It's a ring road.

SPEAKER_02 29:43

It's a ring. Oh the ring road in North Olmstead is one of the worst I've ever seen. Um but it's just people back in each other, Kroger.

SPEAKER_01 29:50

Parking lots also like have you we need we we we allocate way too much to parking?

SPEAKER_02 29:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:55

Get out of your car and walk.

SPEAKER_02 29:57

You know what I do wish that we did hear um that the the folks down south do? At the piggly wiggly? At the pig and the and and publics, I'm kidding, it's publics. Uh Harris Teeter.

SPEAKER_01 30:10

I like not Lion King. That's a movie.

SPEAKER_02 30:13

Why is this? Down there, if you notice every parking lot down there, they now they've got a lot more foliage down there because it's warm all the time. But they work the parking lots into the trees down there.

SPEAKER_01 30:23

Yeah, a lot more shade in the parking lots, a lot more shade in the parking lots.

SPEAKER_02 30:26

If you drive down the street, it's actually kind of hard to tell where the grocery store is.

SPEAKER_01 30:29

Ours are just big asphalt tundras. It is. Oh, he's doing a fist thing again.

Bob Seger Trivia And Sign Off

SPEAKER_01 30:35

Trivia question. I like that. Oh, trivia question, Tom. End it with trivia. Oh, that's good.

SPEAKER_00 30:39

Rock and roll question.

SPEAKER_01 30:40

Brian's been crushing these.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

What song has the following lyrics? I felt the lightning weighted on the thunder.

SPEAKER_01 30:48

Oh, it's a Bob Seeger song. It's a Seager song.

SPEAKER_00 30:51

Yes, it is.

SPEAKER_01 30:52

I was gonna say Bruce Spring Sr. It's Seeger. It's Seeger. Uh but it is Thunder. Oh, come on, come on. Gentlemen. It's not Roll Me Away.

SPEAKER_00 31:03

It's uh it's uh I can hear him saying it we're gonna be a little bit more thunder. Yeah, wait nine things. I can start singing it. Yeah, we don't have to say what it's like. Night moves.

SPEAKER_02 31:12

Night moves. No, come on. Yeah. I feel like Bob Seager was a bit of a pervert. You notice that every song he sings is about like about him hanging it out when he was young.

SPEAKER_00 31:25

Good for him. Firm up high. Firm and high. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:29

Way up firm high. Yeah. Well, most songs are about uh lust. About lust, love, and death. Teenage love or things of that nature. Love you, Bob. Yeah. I like Bob. Yeah, Bob's the best. I saw last you went too. Detroit.

SPEAKER_02 31:42

Remember it got rained out at the end?

SPEAKER_01 31:44

Yeah. Yeah. That was a good time.

SPEAKER_02 31:45

I'm gonna let you close it. I opened it. We'll we'll see how this one goes. I feel like it's better when you run things, but we'll see.

SPEAKER_01 31:52

I don't think that's a great show. I think it was uh a little bit more, you know, it's all right. We'll be fine. Um, okay. Well, cool. I guess we're out of here.

SPEAKER_02 32:04

Cool, cool. Cool. Hey guys, hey guys, and there it is. See you guys in uh season two, episode four.

SPEAKER_01 32:10

Episode four is uh in the books. We'll catch you on the flippity flip. We'll uh yeah, try to be awake next time.

SPEAKER_04 32:15

See you later.

SPEAKER_01 32:17

Bye. Bye.